Why don’t they like me???

It’s tough when you’re in your teen/tween years because the most important thing that think about is “Why don’t people like me?” 

It’s a tough question.  Why don’t people like me?  I think people do like you, the question really is, do you like yourself?

I know you look at the popular people and think they are lucky because every seems to like them and they get all the attention they want but I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, they don’t think anyone likes them either.  And even more, most of them don’t like themselves very much and are pretty insecure.

Me telling you to like yourself seems stupid, right?  What’s to like?  Well, that’s what you have to find out.  What is it about you that makes you special?  What are you talents? If you can’t think of anything, ask someone who cares about you and then listen.

Don’t go into that conversation and discount everything they say, they love you, they see you and they know you.  Your great qualities are standing out there, you just have to see them…..and then believe them.

Once you know what you’re good at then you get a confidence that allows you to walk taller, smile broader, and laugh more often.  All that brings people to you like bears to honey.  It’s about your feelings about yourself that show others how to think about you.  Seems weird but it’s true.

So try it.  Find 4 things you like about yourself and tell yourself over and over these 4 things and see how you feel.  Do you walk taller?  Do you feel better? 

Like yourself and the others will like you too!

Lorena Bathey, www.u-got-the-power.com

Ewww….guess who is gonna ask me to the dance!

I know dances and social events are big things in high school.  There is a lot of pressure there….what to wear, who to go with, is it cool to want to go, will the guy/girl you like be there, will you get a chance to talk to them…..the list is long and I probably didn’t even hit everything.

Listen one thing is true……if you don’t go then you won’t know. 

Another thing, if your friends are saying that dances are stupid and that they aren’t going…..it’s because they are scared to go.

If you like someone and you go to a dance and they are there…..take a deep breath….walk over to them….and ask them to dance.  What is the worst thing that can happen?  They say “No”.  Okay, then you have just saved yourself precious time mooning over someone that doesn’t appear to like you….you can move on….maybe to someone better.  But a couple of things COULD happen.  They could say “YES” and you could spend some time getting to dance with them and even get to know them.  Or even if they say no to you, it might have just made them aware of you and peaked their interest.

Dancing is fun!  Get out there and have FUN!

Please don’t dance like you work on the streets or own a pole in your home.  Slutty is never a good way to get someone.  Slutty implies several things:

That you don’t respect yourself.

That you are willing to give all of yourself to someone else because you want and need love and don’t think anyone will love you for yourself.

That someone can take advantage of you because you don’t have enough strength to put on all your clothes before leaving the house.

This is a big one girls…and guys…..giving yourself to someone physically does NOT make them fall in love with you no matter what they tell you.  Giving yourself physically to someone in anyway only puts yourself down and tells the other person you don’t think enough of yourself to keep what you have for someone that really knows and loves you….not your body….you.  Trust me….girls have been doing this for a long time and I have NEVER met a girl that found the love of her life this way.

If you want someone to respect you….to treat you with love and caring….then you must treat yourself that way!

Back to the Dance….

Boys, take a chance and ask a girl.  If she is a kind girl and she doesn’t like you she will be honest with you, but don’t think that friendship wouldn’t be nice.  Friendship can grow into relationships.  And even if it doesn’t friends are wonderful things to have, especially of the opposite sex.

Girls, give guys a chance.  They may not be the guy you expected once you get to know them.  And remember having guy friends is a great way to get insight in the working mind of guys.

Be polite.  Don’t be hurtful, especially not to make others think that you are cool.  Think about how the person you are treating badly must feel.  What if that was you? 

Go in a group.  If you don’t have a date then get some friends and all go together.  Maybe meet before hand at someone’s house and go together.  Groups can have a lot of fun together without the pressures that can occur if you are simply one on one with someone or going it alone.

Laugh!  A lot!  Trust me everyone looks better when they laugh.  Don’t stand at the side of the room with a frown on your face…that’s scary.  Just smile and be inviting….someone coming to ask you to dance is using all their courage to do so.  So don’t scare them to death!  Plus….smiling is fun!

Eeeeekkk  they want to kiss me.  First off, know this…..no one should physcially touch you unless you want them to.  But if you are ready to kiss them then do a couple things.  Don’t panic!  Look at them in the eye!   And lean forward and enjoy!   Your first kiss will be a memory you will never forget….so make it memorable!  Don’t waste it on someone not worthy of that being in your mind for the rest of your life.  You don’t want to 40 (you will be one day…sorry) and thinking “ewww…I still can’t believe so and so was my first kiss??”   Trust me, it happens!

Be yourself.  This always is the best plan.  If you try to be someone else or fit into a group that isn’t your thing then you are going to be on very tired person trying to stand correctly, wear the right thing, follow along……not only that but it will feel horrible.  Be yourself.  Learn to love who you are!  Trust me…it’s the best gift you have!

Share with your parents……they are waiting with baited breath to hear how your time is.  They may not ask….but they totally want to know.  Tell them…maybe even ask questions…you may find your parents know more than you think, or even might have been where you are before.  Remember we weren’t born 40! 

Most of all….have fun!  Laugh!  Enjoy!  And SMILE!

It’s September….

So we are halfway through September and some of you have been in school for a few weeks and some of you have just started.  Either way it is the beginning of a new school year and the next ten months are just warming you up for the stuff that the school year can bring. 

While the teachers might be taking it easy as you settle into your new classes and try and find your lockers you are anticipating the other shoe dropping at any moment.  You all know that the school starts off quiet and refined and ends up a helacious amount of homework that you struggle to balance with home life, other activities like sports, drama, or etc, and friends.  Many of you need your Blackberry’s because your schedules are as busy as many adults.  And the stress level may equal your adult counterparts as well.  So how do you deal? 

First things first….school is the most important part of this equation.  School is more than just grades and classes, it is a smaller version of the real world.  In the real world you will have to balance workloads.  You will have to learn how to get along with authority.  You will have to find a way to make friends and influence people, hopefully in a positive manner.  You will have to learn to prioritize.  You will have to stand up for yourself.  And you will have to create an environment that allows you to be healthy and happy.  So while you may think that school is simply something that has to be done to get to the real world, use this time to learn the valuable skills you need to have a great life as an adult.

Whether you just started high school, middle school, or are graduating each grade can teach you not only valuable things about yourself but also about how you will adapt in “real life.”  How will you deal with a deadline in school will give you a glimpse into how you might handle a deadline at your job.  The skills you are learning….or aren’t learning….now are going to stay with you.  You’ll take them with you if you choose to go to college and they will cement in there so that when you hit the big, bad world your behaviors will be fairly consistent.

So what type of person do hope to be when you face the workload of real life?  How about what way do you handle an assignment that is due two weeks from now?   Do you start right away doing a bit of the work at a time so that you can be finished way before the due date and therefore relax?  Or do  you put off the work you need to do until the last weekend before the project is due thereby scrambling and freaking out and having to ask your parents for help to get it done in time?  Two very different tactics for schoolwork that will foreshadow what your response may be as a grown adult.

If I can give some advice…..think really good and hard about who you are and how you best work.  Write down the positive attributes you have with school.  Are you responsible?  Do you make sure you have all the facts, are clear on the assignment, and then prioritize your time to make sure you do all the aspects of the work and have it in on time?  Is this the way you wish you were when you are scrambling till midnight the night before to staple together a half way decent report?  Do you not verify assignments and find excuses for why things didn’t get done?

Now is the time to try things out and see what works best for you.  It is also a time to see what strengths you have and use those to empower yourself.  Take time to get to know your teachers….they are not your enemy!  In fact, teachers can not only be helpful with school work but can inspire you if they see you have a talent that you have not quite identified.  It is also the time to learn how to pace  yourself and create reactions to events in your life.  How do you respond? 

School is not easy nowadays with its work load, peer pressures, frustrations, and worries but it can also be the training ground to who you are going to be.  It can be a place to try out parts of yourself to see if they work for you.  It is a time to make foolish fashion choices, new friendships, and discover things about yourself.  So look at the start of the new year as an opportunity to find out what you’re made of and then spend the next ten months or so perfecting those attributes.

Lorena

Respect….R.E.S.P.E.C.T….find out what it means!!!

This is a big word.  It holds great power and deep meaning. It is also a word that we don’t see embodied the way we should these days.  Perhaps respect isn’t exemplified because it’s lost some of its meaning today.  Or perhaps it is because it is not taught to you guys.

I want to discuss what respect is and how it is one of the most important qualities you can have now and for the rest of your life.  Without respect of self or others then your actions, choices, or decisions can be badly made.  What you must know is that respect is not something that someone can simply give to you….respect must be earned.  And anything that is earned takes some effort and commitment. 

Let’s take a few examples of how to find and utilize respect in your life today.

School:  Well school is filled with opportunities to practice the art of respect.  Let’s break this down.

1. School work:  You guys have a ton of homework on your plate.  Couple this with all the extra stuff you do like sports, dancing, art, etc.  It can be hard to know where to focus and how to get everything done.  Then put some heaping pressure of wanting to please people, especially parents, and it can lead to things getting away from you.  But you need to know that going to school and learning is not for others, but for you.  Your education is important for you and your future…..that is it.  The work you do in school is preparing you for what you want to do and who you want to be in your life.  That is why you need to think about what it is that you truly want to do in your life….what makes you happy, smile, and filled with bliss?  And when I say you, I mean the you that is in your heart.  Not the you that you think you should be or the you that you think others want you to be.  Your life is your own and you need to follow the things that make you feel happy.  So understand what that is and figure out the path you need to take to make your happiness the career you follow.  Respect your own mind and knowledge of who you are to make sure that you get to go exactly where you want to go in life.  Respect the knowledge that you can do anything you want to do….just make it happen.
2. The Opposite Sex:  We all know that at this time in life the importance of the opposite sex becomes completely different from in the past.  Before they had cooties or were stupid, but now you find yourself staring at them in class or thinking about them when you are at home in your room.  This is all natural and trust me, is only the beginning of the wonderful world of relationships.  However, what is always being formed is the way in which you will react to the opposite sex.  Many are confused with the emotions.  Many more are following advice being given by your friends who probably know less than you do.  But what I want you to know is that at this time your behavior will be a starting place for how you think and behave with the opposite sex.  First off let me assure you that at this point everyone….yes, everyone….is nervous about the opposite sex.  What to do…what not to do….do they like you….are you enough as you are…all these questions run through your brain.  This is when respect occurs.  You know what is right for you, what behavior is acceptable to you and that is what you need to remember and follow.  There will be a lot of pressure from friends, from the person you like, or from yourself to measure up and not be made fun of.  But if you don’t want to be physical on some level then you shouldn’t.  I will tell you for certain that being physical with someone will NEVER make them care or love you.  Love doesn’t come from the physical….love comes from the heart and is given to someone who treats you with respect.  That means valuing your decisions and wanting to be with you….the you that is funny, smart and clever, not just the you in the physical form that can give them when they need.  So when you are making the decision of how far to go keep this thought…..respect is always earned.  To earn respect from someone means valuing yourself enough to follow your heart and do what you know is right or wrong and not because you think you should to be cool.

Home: Parents:  I know parents can be tough to take at this time in your life.  Some parents are too involved and some parents aren’t involved at all.  One thing is sure is that while you are trying to figure out who you are you may feel that your parents are trying to tell you who you are.  It may seem that you two are always fighting and disagreeing but I want to give you a few points that you need to understand that may make your relationship with your parents easier.

1. Your parents love you: This is a true fact and no matter how they act.
2. They are doing the best they know how:  Remember that your parents are trying to do the best they can. If they aren’t doing what you need then a quiet and respectful conversation can give them insight.  I say respectful because if you come at them with attitude and irritation they are going to feel challenged and will push back.  Ask for a time to talk about some things that are bothering you and ask if that conversation can be done from a place of honesty and truth.  You will be surprised how respecting them can allow them to then respect you.  Remember also that as impossible as it may seem your parents were once kids and they probably learned their behavior from their parents.  It may be the only way they know how to behave, so understanding this can explain a lot to you about why they do what they do.
3. It is your life: No matter what it seems like now, this life is yours.  While you may have to behave in certain ways now because you are living under your parents roof and you aren’t self sufficient then understand that this may be a necessity of receiving an education and learning about yourself too.  However, when you venture out into the world as an adult you may then create your own existence.  Hopefully you will choose a lifestyle that is morally right, ethically correct, and legal.  Yet, if you want to paint and be an artist, write novels, be a banker, a lawyer, a businessman, or a garbage man the life you chose to walk is your life to do.  I know you might feel pressure by your family or friends to do what they want, however, this IS your life so be brave enough to live it and respect yourself enough to know what makes you happy and life your life that way.  Your family will come around if you prove that your decision makes you blissful.  But honor yourself and respect your choices and feelings and do what makes you happy.

Friends: It is hard working through friendships when you are in the tween/teen age range.  Some of the people you have been friends with for a long time no longer fit your ideas and thoughts.  There are people you might be friends with because you think you need to fit in.  And then there might be people who you wish you could be friends with but don’t want to rock the boat.  There are also friends that you have that are not caring, respectful, or nice to you but you feel you must be friends with them.  First off, please ask yourself, do my friends treat me with respect?  Do I treat my friends with respect?  These questions are very important.  If someone you are friends with is not treating you with respect then the truth of the matter is….they are not your friend.  Someone that cares about you will always value you and would not hurt you in word, manner, or deed.  That is it.  There is no “well maybe” about this.  It is the absolute and ultimate truth.  Let me repeat this:  Someone that cares about you will always value you and would not hurt you in word, manner, or deed!  That being said you must always use that definition in regards of the treatment of your friends as well.  Respect is a two way street!  To have it you must earn it and to receive it people must earn it.  Always choose your friends based on the way they respect others and the respect they expect in their lives. Anyone who does not have a high level of respect for others will not respect you or themselves.  That means that hurt, bad behavior, and stupid things can come from this.  Find friends that respect you and you will find deep and long lasting friendships.

Self: I know that this is a hard time to be a tween/teen.  There is a lot of pressure on you kids.  You not only have to perform in school, sports, activities but you have to be popular, attractive, smart, and in style.  It’s a lot to maintain.  And there is a lot of pressure to be something other than what you are and to not appreciate the amazing qualities you have already.  So, I’m gonna keep this simple. YOU ARE AN AMAZING BEING WITH SUCH IMPACT TO MAKE ON THIS PLANET!  Did you get that?  You are, right now in this moment, exactly strong enough, brave enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, handsome enough, wise enough…..to do anything you need to do.  All you have to do is believe that.  Respect yourself in all ways.  And never forget that the true measure of a person is who they are inside!  It’s not how many points they score in a game….it’s not whether they are handsome/beautiful and dress nicely…..its not whether they get a 4.0…..it’s not whether they make tons of money……The absolutely true measure of a person ALWAYS is how they treat themselves with respect and how they treat others with respect.  Who are you inside?  Are you brave enough to be that person?  Because that person is the best person you are….so let that kid out to be all the AMAZING things that you are.  Everyone is this way….EVERYONE has talents….so trust yourself, respect your truth…..and go and BE YOU!!!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T ….find out what it means to YOU!

Lorena

Bullies…..what are they?

There is so much in the news today about kids being bullied. We see boys and girls reacting in very horrific ways like bringing guns to school and hurting those that have tortured them. We see your classmates cutting themselves and in some terrible situations killing themselves. This is something that everyone needs to be aware of. I am sure that most people have been bullied at some point in their life, I hope that the below can help you understand not only what causes someone to bully but how to react and protect yourself from bullying.

A bully is someone who uses aggression of any kind to make others intimidated or afraid of them. This can be done by physically hurting others or perhaps the bully uses words or teasing to keep someone in a constant state of fear.  All these tools they use add up to one vital thing, the bully bullies because they are insecure or feeling small themselves.

This may seem incredible to believe that a bully is actually afraid and that is what causes them to bully.  Most bullies are big, strong, and physically scary. But the thing you need to remember is that bullies aren’t really strong inside. Inside themselves they feel small, scared and worried that others will really see who they are.  Sometimes bullies have been hurt themselves and have a lot of anger inside them that they need to get rid of.  And many times bullies have home lives that are not happy and they are in great need of attention and any attention will do, even bad. 

Seeing what bullies are made of will make it easier for you to understand how to handle a bully.  I know that most people feel that violence of any kind is not appropriate. I absolutely believe that as well.  And that means that violence being done to you is not acceptable either. If someone…ANYONE… is hurting you then you need to get help. Keeping quiet while someone hurts you is not the answer to any problem. You need to find someone you trust and tell them that someone is hurting you. It may not be an easy thing to do and you may be embarrassed or scared that someone will find out, but the other side of that is to continue to be hurt.  Getting help is far smarter, so be smart.

Now, if you can understand that a bully is really scared inside then you can understand how to stand up to a bully.  A bully uses fear to make people do what they want. But if someone isn’t afraid, then bullies lose their power, don’t they?  So how do you get a bully off your back? Simple, stand up to them.

You might be staring at the screen with your mouth open right now…..stand up to the bully…..are you crazy Lorena?  How do I stand up to them?  Well, that is what you have to figure out.  If someone is hurting you we’ve already covered that, you get a grown up, teacher, older kid and tell them you are being hurt.  This authority figure will help you if the bullying is in the form of aggression such as hitting, tripping, etc.  Get help before you confront a physical bully! 

If the bully is saying rude things, talking about you behind your back, etc then this is simple action. The way you combat that type of bully is to walk straight up to them and tell them with strength that they will stop talking about you.  That you know who they are and you will not longer TOLERATE their bullying you.  You will tell them that you are giving them this chance to stop on their own and if they don’t then you will be going to the principal, teacher, or parents to get them to stop.  Give them the opportunity to do it themselves, if they don’t then make sure you follow through on your statements.  

Understand that the bully will see your strength and then you change the balance of power.  You take away the fear, which is not helping you but hindering you, and you put strength in its place. You tell the bully that they are not allowed to bully you.  That you are stronger than that and that you WILL make sure they stop in whatever manner you need to. 

This lesson in bullying is something you will need to learn for your life. To be able to stand up for yourself is important to make sure that people don’t take advantage of you throughout your life.  But be sensitive and don’t use your strength to bully others, remember always what it feels like to be bullied and always put yourself in someone else’s shoes when you are talking to them.

Remember that bullies can be a serious problem and evaluate how to handle the bully in your life or your friend’s life. If you believe that the person is violent then you ABSOLUTELYmust get help. If you can see the fear that drives your particular bully, then shore yourself up, walk tall, speak plainly and take the bully out of your life yourself.

Lorena

The quest to be popular!

Today, as in every kid’s day, being popular is high up on the educational checklist.  Whether you are popular and need to maintain the place you got for yourself or if you are trying to become part of the popular crowd, popularity is a focal point for most kids. 

 

So let’s talk about the idea of what being popular is.  The dictionary definition has a few definitions but the ones that most fits the ideas of popularity in this instance are: “frequently encountered and widely accepted or commonly liked or approved of.”  These two definitions adequately describe the “popular” groups in school.  But what makes these “popular groups” popular in the first place?  And what is popularity and is it really sought after or just misunderstood.

 

Lots of people have seen movies where the popular kids are portrayed as mystical creatures on the right side of the lunch room.  Like a unicorn becoming part of their group is magical and wanted beyond much else.  But I am here to dispel some myths about the popular crowd…..you ready?

 

First, have you noticed that the popular crowd has a hard time going anywhere alone?  Like a giant magnet holds them all connected they travel in packs not as individuals.  They are always with someone else and when alone seem small and a bit bewildered.  So that should tell you that without the armor of their friends they aren’t all that powerful.

 

Second, what is the attire of most of the individuals of the popular group?  Is it more like a uniform than an outfit?  Do the girls and the boys of the popular group seem to call each other up the night before to plan out their matching attire that they wear?   This need to conform to the standard of dress shows that while they may be popular they are not very secure of themselves.  Which leads me to my third point….

 

Third, many of the popular groups or clicks tend to be mean.  Mean in the fact that if you are not part of their group they are nasty, tease you, can bully, and effectively make you feel even smaller than you might have felt before.  Why do you think they do this?   It is because this “popular” group is really a group of insecure and fearful individuals worried that someone will see into their heart and know who they really are.  Because while there always are popular clicks these groups are more afraid of you then you are of them.  Why?

 

Because you can break down the house they built of cards, which is their popularity.  Let’s face it, kids are tough.  You guys have a lot of technical instruments at your disposal to uncover dirt and expose your classmates.  Things like YouTube, My Space, and Facebook can be devastating if the wrong picture or video clip gets out.  And anyone who has fallen prey to the insecurity of the popular group can know how vicious can be the counterattack if the scorned person chooses to do it.  The popular group knows how quickly they can be kicked out of their group so they rule with an iron fist.  They make sure you are more scared of them than they are of you.  So there you go, the truth is out.

 

This idea of popular people is going to happen ALWAYS in your life.  There will always be the person or people that everyone seems to like and want to be with.  And you may feel that person is never you.  But there are ways that you can make yourself more popular with others even if you never make it to the “popular click” that you see. 

 

A) Being popular with others is as simple as being nice to them.  Everyone wants to feel liked and cared for and if you go out of your way to be nice to everyone no matter what others will say then you will broaden your group of friends.  Having friends from all walks of life can be very helpful in your life and also can bring amazing new aspects to your world that you never experienced before.  For example, making friends with some of the music people might mean you learn more about music and might be introduced to some singers that become your favorites for life. 

 

B) Be secure with who you are, just as you are.  Know this…..EVERYONE is insecure in the tween-teen years.  Everyone can feel silly, stupid, bad dresser, and ugly.  This is a day to day battle with self that you need to win.  All those things you say to yourself that are not positive simply make you feel even worse about yourself so the fastest way to change that is to change the way to talk to yourself.  Instead find the best things about yourself or the things that you can do that are strong and use those words to describe yourself.  For example, if you are good at sports like soccer then say to yourself: I’m fast, I’m strong, I’m a team player, I’m good at taking directions, etc.  These things that you say to yourself make you feel stronger and better about who you are and I know that by saying this to yourself you will then walk taller and surer.  Amazingly when you walk taller you draw people to you….they want to know you….they want to be your friends. 

 

C) Don’t become obsessed with you.  I mean that look around once in a while and don’t always think that people are watching you and tearing you apart.  Come out of your bubble of “you” and see that most people are more worried about themselves then they are about you.  For example, if you trip walking across the lunch room don’t hide in the bathroom for the rest of the year.  No one probably noticed you and if they did and maybe let out a snigger you have one of two options 1) make a joke about it or 2) pat yourself on the back for being the relief of those individuals that other people trip just like them.

 

I want you to know and remember one thing for sure.  This daily test of popularity ends once you move out of high school.  As the world gets bigger that you travel in then the need for small clicks to dominate becomes unneeded.  That should allow you to sigh with relief.  But use the above techniques to create a way of living your life because if you do the steps above you will always have a broad and interesting group of friends to make your life happy and colorful!

 

Lorena

In the beginning….

I started writing because it helps me think, process, and understand what is happening in my life.  I started writing when I was a kid.  I always had a journal filled with my experiences, or lack thereof, with boys or my friends.  My notebooks were where I made sense of why someone had been mean to me or why the boy I liked didn’t like me. 

It was in the writing that the thoughts got sorted out instead of being a jumble of words all mixed up with the emotions.  No one looked at these notebooks so I didn’t have to worry about the way I wrote.  I also would allow this space to say things I couldn’t say outloud  .  To say I was mad at my Mom for not understanding that I had to get that skirt.  To say that something someone said during homeroom made me feel very bad about myself.  To say swear words that were forbidden.  To actually write out the boy’s name that I was in love with.  This book held more than words, sentences, and phrases…..this word held my heart, mind, and beliefs.

If I think about it now I remember how much time I spent writing in my room.  I was an only child so I didn’t have anyone to hang out with or make up games with.  I spent a lot of time in my room, listening to music and day dreaming.  I was a pro at daydreams.  It was cheap and easy entertainment and in my mind absolutely how I was going to live my life one day.  If I look at the receipe it was the beginning simmer of me becoming an author of a book and a speaker to women. 

So, with this first blog I want to let you know that dreaming of any kind is ABSOLUTELY right, true, and the best way for you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up.  Writing those ideas down are great because they help you figure out the process of where you are going.  Put the two together and you will have an insightful place to share your ideas, your feelings, and you might just find that one day when you are grown up and you look back these books, you did exactly as you wrote down.

Even better, writing things down allows you to say what you feel at people you might not be able to express your thoughts and emotions to.  For example, if that teacher who just keeps riding you won’t stop and you are completely frustrated and irritated by them….write down what you feel, what you would like to say, and how you want things to go and see how much better you feel. 

Sometimes you just need a place to vent.  A notebook can be a valuable tool to making sure any excess emotions don’t get caught up in you and make you act in a way that might get you in trouble.  And writing things down are a perfect way to look at the situation and see what appears to be going on.  Maybe you can figure things out while you are writing down what the teacher said or did and how you reacted. 

Are you seeing how great writing can be?  And anyone can do it.  It is an amazingly valuable tool, so get yourself a pen and some paper and start writing.  See what you learn about yourself, your world, and the people in it! 

Lorena

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